The images I chose for Project 10 this month are from the Kauai County Fair. My husband kind of hates it, but I’ve told him to suck it up and deal with the fact that we will be going and spending a small fortune for as long as our kids are willing to go. Because, memories. And, I do admit that I was selfish because I couldn’t wait to shoot a super fun, bright film stock that I thought would perfectly capture the feel of the fair. It was more chaotic feeling for me this year, probably because I’m more on edge. But getting those film scans back made me forget that and I am so very happy we did this, and that I made sure to take these photos. It was a bittersweet year too, because my oldest two weren’t with us. Sienna was working and Aidan wanted to go off and hang out with his friends. I’m pretty sure Maddie will be wanting to leave us for friends soon.Why does it all have to go so fast? The days truly are long (and so often overwhelming) but the years are so short. Where did the time go? One more reason why this project is so very important.
I’ve been getting worse about this project lately. It’s so late it is now actually the wrong month. I don’t have a great excuse, but life’s been overwhelming this past couple months. I’m struggling with some low-level depression. It’s something that I will deal with throughout my life; it’s something I always have had to deal with, starting around age 12. I’ve had a few stretches where I’ve had a really good couple of years where I hope that it means I won’t deal with it again. Then it hits and I have to come to terms with it. I’m so lucky to have great doctors and years of therapy behind me, so I know what to do that works so I can function. But I’m definitely not at 100% and sometimes the smallest things feel completely overwhelming, like this blog post. Paid work gets taken care of, but things like personal projects get put on the back burner. Is this too much to put out there on a business website? I don’t know. But I am so tired of pretending. So very tired of putting on the public face all the time. And I know I’m not alone out there dealing with this. I guess if you’re looking for someone who has it all together and is basically a perfect human, we’re not a good fit anyway.
I want to apologize for the too personal information here because I’m a people pleaser and apologize for anything and everything, but I also don’t want to apologize for being authentic and vulnerable. So, I hope you enjoy the pretty pictures of (part of) my family at the fair.
Project Ten is made up of a group of very talented photographers who are determined to document their own lives and not just the lives of their clients. Ten photos from our everyday lives on the tenth of every month. Check back monthly and be sure to check out all the other extremely talented women below!
My fellow Project Ten participants: